Day in the Life of My Toddler V Reality Part 1


I think its morning
Rolls out of bed, lets check the window – still dark. oh my potty and books are back.
I see a light on downstairs, lets rattle the gate, see if mummy or daddy are up. [no answer]
Okay I’ll sing some songs..mummy’s alarm!
“Hi Mummy”, rattle the gate – make sure she’s really awake.
“Morning, do you need a wee wee?” says mummy. I think I do though I may have been already and my knickers are definately wet.
“I’ll try”
“Okay, you try, while mummy goes toilet and puts the kettle on.”
She’s gone! Right lets line up my books and throw my knickers and jarma bottoms across the room. Oh no, she’s coming back, I forgot to wee.

“Why are your knickers over there? Did you go wee wee?”
“Come on lets go eat breakfast together.”
Yay breakfast, oh I’m running I’m not allowed to run to the stairs. These stairs are hardwork!

“Go sit at the table and I’ll make breakfast.” I hear mummy say, but I must check all my toys are still here first – they’re all tidied up, this isn’t how I left them.
Was that the second or forever time mummy asked me to do something?
Oh yeah my cereal! Which seat, which seat? – too late mummy picked my seat for me.
My favourite cereal, got to drink the milk first. Opps I spilled!


“Don’t worry,” says mummy, “try not to spill anymore.”
I spill alot more but this cereal is yummy so I must get it all over my face, hands, jarmies and chair.
Mummy is speedy and goes to get ready. I finish, get down and “shake it off, shake it off!”.
Mummy’s coming back – I forgot to ask to get down!
“Have you finished?” I nod.
“May I get down to play?”
“Yes come wipe your fingers first”
Mummys gone upstairs – time to get everything out like it was.
“Time for a wash, we need to get ready now”
Yay, time to go to the bathroom! I’m grown up now, I can get on the stool by myself.
I want to brush my teeth by self, mummy says I have to wait until shes done the ‘main’ bits.
No this isn’t fair!!
Now mummy says I can’t brush as I didn’t do it properly first.
Ergh here comes the fannel, no I don’t want this on my face – oh its done!
“Do you want to try do a wee wee before we go?”
Hmmm… let me think, Justins House is on!
“Yes mummy” I sit, ohh tiny wee wee. “I did it!!”
“Okay stay sat down”
No I want to see my wee wee.
Now I have to lie down, can’t see the telly at this angle.
“Stop wiggling for a minute”
[freezes for 5 seconds] wait what did I miss..
Yes I can put my top on by self! Yep I’ve got clothes on, must hide!
Mummy won’t chase me anymore, she’s sat down and turnt telly off.
Mummy wants me to get my bottle and Yar Yar and go sit on the step – I want to play!
The buggy is downstairs now, mummy wants to go. No no I want to bring…ohh a biscuit!! I want it.
I want to walk too!
7am (ish): I can hear her waking up.
[checks time on phone] Nope not getting up my alarm hasn’t gone.
She’s now rattling the life out of her gate.
Really want this extra rest.
Now she’s singing – love her singing and…
7:30am: [buzz buzz ring] argh my alarm.
“Hi Mummy” she says. Her voice now sounds like she’s in the room with me.
More gate rattling. Okay I’m awake.
7:33am: I’m out of bed, slightly sleepy and needing caffine.
“Morning, do you need a wee wee?” I ask in a voice I barely reconise as my own.
“I’ll try” she says, pulling her bottoms down and collecting her battered wooden picture books to ‘read’ while on the potty.
“Okay, you try, while mummy goes toilet and puts the kettle on.”
7:36am: I’m in the kitchen, kettle reboiling – can’t remember if I put it on the first time.
Two bowls out. Tea finally made.
7:41am: I’m back at her gate.
“Why are your knickers over there? Did you go wee wee?”
She’s thrown last nights potty knickers and her pj bottoms across her room.
All I want is my cuppa and I want to drink it hot (ish)!
“No” she says.
“Come on lets go eat breakfast together”
She gets up runs to the now open gate and heading for the stairs, stops breifly to snap the handle back down on her gate.
“We don’t run on the stairs” I say roboticly.
7:52am: She’s now in the livingroom. I call out from the kitchen to her to “go sit at the table and I’ll make breakfast”.
I must have repeated the former five times inbetween sips of tea and pouring out two bowls.
She’s still not at the table.
7:55am: I point to her seat, which she still isn’t sat in. And we sit down.
She instantly picks up the bowl to drink the milk.
‘Why when the bowl is still full!’ I think.
“Don’t worry” I say when she’s spilt her cereal down herself now, “try not to spill anymore” though I know she will many more times.
‘I’ll sort this mess once I’ve drank my tea’ I say in my head to myself.
8:15am: I’ve cleaned up the majority of the cereal, taken my bowl and cup out.
Flicked on Cbeebies. And I’m now in the bathroom sorting myself out.
I can hear her get down from the table and stamp her feet while saying “shake it off, shake it off”
I come back, cereal is all over the carpet and she’s trying to look like she didn’t get down already.
“Have you finished?” I ask.
She nods her head dramatically – she learnt that from one of the songs they sing at her nursery.
I love it, though if I ask her something, she assumes I can hear her nodding especially through walls!
“May I get down to play?”
“Yes, come and wipe your fingers first”
“I’m going to get dressed, then we’ll get you ready too”, she doesn’t hear me, she’s too busy deciding what she’s going to get out first.
8:43am: “Time to get washed, we need to get ready now”
I can’t see the floor!
8:45am: We’re in the bathroom. Teeth brushing used to be a breeze, now she clamps her mouth shut and violently shakes her head.
This ensues tantrum no1 of the day – she want to do them herself. I’ve explained that she can, but I need to do the main brush first – she’ll only bite and suck the brush
anyway. I ignore this behaviour and continue with washing her face with her flannel.
8:56am: “Do you want to try do a wee wee before we go?” I ask, just as the theme tune to Justin’s House comes on – its one of her favourites.
“Yes mummy”
I start picking up her cereal off the carpet.
“I did it”
‘Wow that was quicker than expected’ I think to myself.
“Okay stay sat down.” She doesn’t.
‘This mornings cleaning list is getting longer by the minute!’
Opportunity to dress her and go or we’ll never get out before lunchtime.
‘When did she get so strong!’ We’re literally having a wrestling match as I try to clean her, pull up her potty knickers and put some socks on her.
“Stop wigging for a minute”, I request.
She’s dressed and now she’s run off to hide.
9:11am: I won’t chase her to get ready anymore. She thinks its a game.
I switch off the telly and sit down looking around the room – anything but at her directly.
Since doing this she usually gives in after a few seconds.
9:15am: Brushed her hair. Ask her to grab her sports bottle, comforter that she calls ‘Yar Yar’ and go sit on the step.
She’s ignored me.
I’ve taken her buggy down – yep she’s back playing with her toys.
Tantrum no2 is about to start, she wants to bring a list long of toys with us, quick thinking I distract her with a biscuit.
9:26am: Finally we’re getting somewhere – shoes, coats, my handbag, keys…nope tantrum no3 starts.
She wants to walk.

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